Early Morning

Now that I am back to blogging, you may get whiny moments. Today will be one of those days. But the good stuff is at the end. So, read the whiny stuff so you understand the lesson.

Really, it started yesterday. About 9PM. The kids were finally in bed. I was settling down to watch one of our shows. Then I saw it was a two part episode. Because it's the end of all my series. So they have to be really dramatic and drag everything on and on and on.

And I wanted to watch the second part of the finale. Not go to bed and set my alarm for 5:20AM. But I did, and maybe I prayed that I would get a text either last night or early this morning saying my running friend can't make it. Yeah, should have prayed a little harder about that. The alarm went off, I pushed snooze. The alarm went of, I pushed snooze again. The alarm went off, I turned it off. Got out of bed, got myself out the door and was still 10 minutes late. And I kept praying for that text saying I could turn around and go home. Still didn't come.....

I arrived. Apologized in a half hearted way for being late. We began. We only had about 3 miles to go. I started off ok. Then, my calves started tightening. So I walked a little. My dear friend gave me some encouragement, we ran again. More hurting calves, we walked a little. Finally, I said to my friend that she should go on. Because I wanted to not push to hard since we had hill work tomorrow morning. Oh the joy of that. And since she did need to get back home before 7, I was left on my own to finish the 3 miles.

Which turned out to be an enormous blessing. I had been all focused on me and what problems I had. And when my friend continued on, and I was left there without my iPod or any other distractions (television anyone?) I finally had the time to realize that I was getting into a pretty selfish mode of thinking. I did have some things that were on my heart that weren't just about my desire to sleep past 5:30AM. But mostly, I was thinking how unfair my life was. The Lord prompted me to start praying. And I did. I just started talking to God on that path. Out loud. I was the crazy lady on the running path. I stopped talking and listened for awhile. And then I would talk. God and I had a great conversation out there this morning. And not everything was resolved. I still have some things to work on. God did not come down with a magic paint brush and remove all my troubles. He did, however, give me some peace of mind. And then, when I was done talking to God about me. And I started thinking about how cruddy it was to be running out there, I started praying for my friends. And then I started praising God. As I look back on this morning, I probably should have started with the praising and then moved on to praying.

Now, again. My day has not become all roses and sunshine. I feel kind of tired and lazy. I let the kids watch Kung Fu Panda so I could watch a show this morning. And I served them 7UP for breakfast because we are out of milk and I didn't want the battle over drinking water to begin, for the hundredth time. I just didn't want to deal with that. But, God is still there for me. Thank-you Jesus for your endless patience, grace and mercy. For loving me as I need to be loved. Especially on my crummy days!