Previously

Since it is summer, I have some more free time to do the projects I neglect the other three seasons of the year. Also, since we had a long and enjoyable weekend with my parents, my younger child is currently comatose in his room. Finally, a friend of the older child invited him over to play. It really is the perfect day to clean out and reorganize things in my house.

One of the things we did this weekend was celebrate the two boys birthdays. Grandma and Grandpa M & J helped to flesh out our Imaginext connections. That kept the boys occupied all morning. Leading to the kitchen being rearranged this morning. I know the man of the house loved having to rediscover where the silverware got moved too. I just like to help keep his life interesting. :)

Then, after lunch. I put down the younger boy and sent the older son to the friends house mentioned earlier. Sorted the mountain of laundry that was on top of the day bed and started another load of clothes in the washer. Then, I carefully lifted the sheet that doubles as a dust ruffle from the side of the bed and started pulling out the various articles from beneath the bed. There were random rolls of wrapping paper, gift bags from the latest birthday party, Lego pieces, a couple of dusty socks. A box of sci-fi novels that are my uncles. I am sure a few of them could probably be classified as antiques. Maybe I will be making some Ebay postings after this.....

And then I found a box. It was marked with my name on it. It had about two inches of dust on the top; as did the rest of the things under the bed. I shoved some of the clutter away from me and then slowly opened the box.

Now, I don't consider my self a pack-rat. In fact, I would say I am more quick to get rid of something I think we don't need than I am to save something just in case. But when it comes to letters, or cards, or notes of encouragement. My desire for less clutter gets shut down faster than a drunken Disney character. I do occasionally go through my letter collection and prune out the ones that either I don't remember the person, or there is no sentimental value left in the card for me. Those two criteria usually go hand in hand. But some letters, no matter how old, will always stay in my collection.

For example, I found all the love letters that my darling husband sent to me while we were in college. They are such tender reminders of our early courtship. We were so young and idealistic than. Sigh, we were so naive back then. My eyes were watering as I read some of the little notes and remembered the excitement we had for each other at that time.

I also found a lot of birthday cards from the years. Most of the ones from my grandparents included notes about their lives at that time. Most of it didn't make sense then, nor do I know what it means now. But the words of love and encouragement helped shape me into who I am today. And especially the words of my maternal grandparents mean a lot to me as both have passed on to be with Jesus.

I found a lot of notes of encouragement. One didn't even have a name on it. But all of them encouraged me to stay strong in the Lord. To keep seeking God's direction in my life. To hold on to the promise that God would do great things in my life as I remained faithful to His word. Now, my much younger self had a very different idea of what "do great things in the Lord" meant than what I do now.

Previously, I thought that meant I would go on to work in Washington D.C. as a lobbyist for some Christian rights group. Now, I am a lobbyists for my two boys as I make sure they get the best social experiences possible. Previously, I thought I would go on to sing first soprano in a prestigious collegiate choir. Now, I just want to sing honest and open praises to God. It doesn't matter if anyone sees me or hears me. Previously, I wanted to be up front and out there for everybody to see the great things I was doing in God's name. Now, I just want to do what God would have me to do so Christ's name would be glorified.

It's all been a matter of perspective for me. In the past 25 years that have been a Christian, the Lord has taken me from a young, selfish little girl, to an adolescent more obsessed with what people thought of me than what God thought of me into a woman who desires to serve the Lord, however He wants me to do that.

I will close this long post with a quote I heard recently. I am not sure who originally said it, but here is my version: Thank God I am no longer who I once was, and I thank God that I am not yet who I will be.

Blessings to all of you as you continue towards who God will have you to be.